Thinking happy thoughts.

I often feel that I spend too much time wallowing in stress and self pity. That's why it was a surprise when my therapist suggested I let myself feel upset more often. "You really need to let yourself feel upset about this." Don't I do that enough? And it's not helping. I think he thinks I spend too much time trying to put a positive spin on things, but, really, giving in to those negative feelings and thoughts has gotten me nowhere.

Last night in our mind/body class, we had a guest speaker who talked about the power of positive thinking. I usually don't buy into touchy feely stuff, but here was a woman who suffered from lichen sclerosis, chronic neck and back pain that left her bed-ridden for years, and who hinted at being the victim of abusive relationships, and she was smiling and upbeat and hopeful. She helped me to shift my perspective and to know that if I become more positive in my thoughts, I might actually feel better.

I have a lot of other tension in my life right now, things that are taking priority over the vulvar pain stuff, so it was really helpful to have someone say that attitude is everything because I had just been living in one big bubble of sadness. I could play the victim, but, really, how boring is that? Everyone has problems. It's how you deal with them that's the important distinction.